*sad boop*
Emergency vet visits and being realistic about suffering
A few months ago I had to take Rocco to his first emergency vet visit. It wasn’t too big of a deal, but he had hurt his paw and it was clear that I wouldn’t be able to fix it at home.
Our vet is still doing curbside service, so the vet tech came outside and took Rocco’s leash from me. Rocco LOVES the vet because he gets so much attention. His tail was wagging and he didn’t even look back.
When the vet tech brought him back out, he looked like this.
I remembered this incident this week when we had to make our *second ever* emergency vet visit. Mostly, I thought about what the vet told me when he brought Rocco back out. Rocco was hobbling on three legs and his tail was decidedly not wagging.
The vet said: “It shouldn’t hurt, I don’t know why he’s acting like that.”
At the time, I thought it was hilarious. Here is my little pup, milking the attention that he’s getting. On the other hand, this was probably the worst thing that happened to him since I adopted him. The little guy has a pretty cushy life, after all.
Rocco is a dog. But it’s also incredibly easy to treat humans who are suffering in this same way. Maybe it’s because we’ve all been hurting over the past year and a half, but these are actual comments that I’ve seen in response to people expressing how much they are hurting right now:
“I fell off a ladder and broke some ribs, just to help you put your situation into perspective.”
“You think that’s bad? You’re young, wait until you’re older.”
“Well at least you have parents who love you.”
All of these are just other ways of saying what the vet said to me: “It shouldn’t hurt, I don’t know why he’s acting like that.”
In the age of social media, we can easily assume that we know everything that a person is experiencing simply because we see small parts of their lives. This simply is not true.
When the blind man Bartimaeus came to Jesus, Jesus did not assume what he needed or wanted. Jesus took the time and asked him, “What do you want me to do for you?”
“Teacher, let me see again,” he answered. (Mark 10:51)
It was as simple as that. To understand, to open our hearts to the suffering of others so is as simple as asking a question and being willing to listen to the answer. That bestows dignity on people in the midst of suffering, which is incredibly powerful because suffering can make us feel like we have no dignity left.
I couldn’t ask Rocco what it felt like to go to the vet and have them do a procedure and then wrap up his leg. I couldn’t ask him if it hurt or not. I couldn’t ask him what I could do to help. That’s because he’s a dog.
But the people in your life are not dogs. You can ask them what they are actually experiencing and what it feels like to be them. You can ask them whether it hurts or not. You can ask them what you can do to help. And if you hope to embody Christ on this earth, that’s exactly what you would do.
Some day we’ll have the important conversation about how counterproductive it is to compare suffering. But that will be for another day. For now, enjoy this picture of Rocco trying to entertain himself while I wrote this newsletter.
From the looks of Rocco it seems the second very visit went better! Augie had a hurt leg a year or so ago and we brought him to the vet. They could see him limping so they examined him and took some doggie x-rays but nothing obvious. They gave us some pain killers and after a few days he was back to normal. Dogs hate when things are not normal! We just can't counsel them on their suffering but as you said we can and should for other people! Love you!